I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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