so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
