just tell him i said nine months
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
