We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
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he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
dude. I can hear the air.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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