His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Randomize
