Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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