You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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