I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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