Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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