I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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