Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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