Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
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We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
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I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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