Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
