1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
