barbara walters just said penis...
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I don't deserve a penis
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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