yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
