I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Less talking, more tequila
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
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