can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize