Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Randomize
