I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
