Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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