the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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