Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
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