she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
