Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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