Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
it's like iHOP with fire
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
