idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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