he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I looked at my own cervix.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
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These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
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I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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