Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Dicks are not precious.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
