Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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