Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
