I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
