I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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