Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
