What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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