Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
