doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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