we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
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I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
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I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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