Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
All the doctor said was why
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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