Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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