You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Then you guys just all showered together...?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
