hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
