She's JV to your varsity
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
