There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
