News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize