the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
