at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize