actually, I'm a sock model
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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