gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
