Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
