I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
