I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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