saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Your shirt... Was in my pants
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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