my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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