I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
