Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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