just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
You were trust falling into bushes
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
