how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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