I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
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