the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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