You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
