biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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