What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
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