College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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