Its about making memories worth repressing
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
