woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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