weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Randomize
