I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
