need another drink. this is the easiest way
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
