Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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