Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
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